Month: July 2019

Posted in satire, social media

Eat, Sleep, Rule The Galaxy, Repeat

Posted on by D. Parker

 Our lights are on, but we’re not home.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

Our minds are not our own…https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

Our hearts sweat, our bodies shake.
Another dramafix is what it takes.

We under-sleep, we over-eat/shop/drink/self-medicate/chime in/whine/share/post/tweet…No doubt, we’re in deep.


Our throats so tight, we can’t breathe.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/
The next dramafix is all we need.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

Whoa, we like to think that we’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah. Closer to the truth to say we can’t get enough.https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

We’re gonna have to face it,

we’re addicted to dramalove.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/We see the signs, but we can’t read (between the lines).
We’re running at a different speed…

 

Whoa, we like to think that we’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah. Closer to the truth, we can’t get enough.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

Gonna have to face it, we’re addicted to dramalove. Picture that with Robert Palmer and a bunch of scantily-clad Hashtags gyrating behind him.

Drama is amazing for books, movies, TV shows (also the only place we should see giant shoulder pads), especially soap operas (daytime or prime time)…

but it shouldn’t be the dish-of-the-day in politics and the news. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

We’re acting like we’re in the throes of teen angst…forever. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

Drama distracts us from people stealing: power, money, rights, hopes, dreams, sanity, democracy itself. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

It keeps us looking past the smoke and mirrors, the fluffy and the oh-so shallow. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

We see drama everywhere, except behind the curtain where the wizard of awwws is pulling all the levers, pushing all the buttons.

While we’re fighting, blaming, quibbling, crying, decrying, they’re all, ‘Eat, Sleep, Rule The Galaxy, Repeat’.

Come on, America, Canada, Britain, Europe, China, Russia, and the whole wide world, we know better, we should do better.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/29/eat-sleep-rule-the-galaxy-repeat/

Posted in Books, motivational, satire

How To Be A Bestselling Author in 3 Days or Less

Posted on by D. Parker

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

There’s a lot of noise out there about how to write a bestseller.

Why don’t we break it down.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Let’s simplify the process and get you to bestseller status in 3 days or less!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

1. Write a book.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Use as many words as you think you need.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Plots are plots (it’s all been done/redone/overdone; characters are key).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Use a computer…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

typewriter…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

pencil or pen…

None of it means anything if you don’t use your heart.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

2. Edit.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Do not try this at home.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Being your own editor is like trying to cure your own cancer.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Don’t mistake skill or intent for reality.

A friend, family member, professional editor, a dog or cat (if the communication is clear) – anyone (and I mean anyone) but you, unless you have special skills.

3. Get published.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/
Big fancy publisher, self-publishing, blog it in serialized form, print them out and hand them to the masses on a street corner, just get it out there. https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/06/21/how-to-get-your-book-published/

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

4. Do a book tour.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/
Sign books, shake hands, meet your fans, hope they don’t want to steal your kidney as a prize.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

5. Become rich and famous.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Yes, become so rich and famous you’ll forget all the hard work…

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

all the anxiety, rejection, doubt, derision.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Don’t forget not to be a scummy rich and famous person.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

6. If 1-5 don’t happen, no worries.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/
No one wants to publish my should-be bestsellers (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/03/25/welcome-to-your-life/),

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

but don’t stop me now (https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/02/06/dont-stop-me-now/)!

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

I’m going to keep on writing, reading, researching, submitting, getting rejected, being ignored, and only slightly feeling the stings of all the subtle and not-so-subtle scoffing and mocking.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Repeat again and again.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/Why? I have to get it all out of my head.

As for would-be authors of a ‘certain age’, don’t despair, many famous authors didn’t kick-start their written legacy until later in life, not always for lack of trying:

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/J.R.R. Tolkien, Mark Twain, Toni Morrison, Anna Sewell, Bram Stoker,

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Alex Haley, Charles Bukowski, Laura Ingalls Wilder, William S. Burroughs, 

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Raymond Chandler, Frank McCourt, Marquis de Sade (don’t be that guy).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

Even J.K. Rowling and Dr. Seuss

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

weren’t spring chickens…oh the places you’ll go (er, Hogwarts?).

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/

My point? 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years or 30…Write, draw, sing, dance, sculpt, design video games, whatever, creativity doesn’t come with an expiry date, a time stamp – as long as you live you can create.

https://yadadarcyyada.com/2019/07/07/how-to-be-a-bestselling-author-in-3-days-or-less/