Posted in Books, Canada, Family, Jane Austen, Movies, Music, Televison, Uncategorized

5 Ways I’m Not Under Pressure

Posted on by D. Parker

1yada41Can your heart really be broken?

Apparently it can.

Broken Heart Syndrome is a thing.

Also known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy (not to be confused with the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek, totally different kind of heart-racing); this condition is most often stress-induced.

Wow, you really can die from a broken heart.

So, how can you mend a broken heart? I’m neither a doctor, nor a therapist, nor one of The BeeGees, but I wish I had the answer, because mine is Under Pressure.

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People die.
David Bowie died.
As did Alan Rickman. And a bunch of other people.
We’ve all had family and friends who have died.

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My point? Moments in time are just that. Big or small, once they’re gone, they’re gone. Life is for the living, even if you can now fulfill all your funeral needs (with drop dead prices) while buying vats of olive oil at Costco. They offer killer deals on multi-packs too. Check out their 6-foot deep discounts on dirt in the Home and Garden Section. Ok, I’m almost done. Prices to die for! Now I’m done. So instead of spending money on flowers, candles, and stuffed animals that rot in the streets, mourn and honour those we’ve lost by helping the living.

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5 Ways I’m Not Under Pressure:

1. Bowie was a voice that told me to be me when I wondered if I should be someone else – I will forever adore and blame him for that, or at least blame him for being so persuasive. Goodnight, Mr. Bowie and thanks.

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2. Alan Rickman made me Truly, Madly, Deeply – laugh (Galaxy Quest), cringe and cry (Harry Potter), shiver (Die Hard), and sigh (Sense and Sensibility). Goodbye.

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3. I’ve lost many people in the last few years. I miss them. I wish I could see them again, but at least as time goes by my trips down memory lane, while frequent, are less bumpy, the ride is smoother around the edges.

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4. When I was young, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, we used to train it to Toronto to see concerts – before train fares and concert tickets skyrocketed. I was a goth/punk girl who didn’t know anything, but I sure had fun learning. My friend (who passed away almost a year ago) and I would hang around places like The Eaton’s Centre, knitting, reading, listening to a giant silver boom box we’d lug around – no cellphones or MP3 players back then. We met loads of cool people, ie. The Ramones, David Bowie, etc. I’m sure the meetings weren’t memorable to them, but for us it was like those voices that made us happy, made us dance came to life. When Bowie walked by we broke into a spontaneous chorus of Rebel, Rebel. This earned us tickets to his show, even backstage (whispered instructions to one of his entourage, of course). If we’d worried about looking silly, we would’ve missed dancing and swaying to the sounds on the stage. We wouldn’t have met lots of fascinating people, famous and never-gonna-be-famous. We wouldn’t have started a music magazine, raised money for those in need, got tons of cool promo stuff…Again, life is not only for the living, it’s to be lived. Take a chance, be brave, be bold, be in the here and now. Memories are fun, but not fuel for life.

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5. Speaking of living – The X-Files reboot is only days away. The Truth Is Out There once again, just a,er, tad older…like me. I watched the spooky premiere on September 10, 1993 and never looked back. The only time I remember missing it was the night my son was born (totally, totally worth it). I thought of calling him Fox, but also a major Buffy fan, so…Xander it is.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to stardust, we know people we loved and lost are still with us…No Pressure.

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Author:

Very me

170 thoughts on “5 Ways I’m Not Under Pressure”

    1. I know, it’s astonishing, every time I go online I’m like, what? Nooooo. Lemmy. Brian Bedford…I think the internet is going to explode when William Shatner passes.

      Reply

  2. It’s been a tough week. Nice tribute!
    You may want to stop by my blog to learn how get more views. I read your whole post in my email! You can change that setting.

    Reply

    1. Yes, Susie, I read your post and shared it, some great advice there.
      I go back and forth with the full post and summary thing – I’ve done it both ways a few times. Right now I seem to get more with the full post and people pop over to read some from the archives, but I liked it with the summary too. WordPress changes things so much I’m not sure there’s a lot of consistency anyway.
      Hope you have an awesome ‘wild ride’ weekend Susie! 🙂

      Reply

    1. Thank you so much, Kate. 🙂
      I know I have to wait, but I really do feel like a child waiting for Christmas, yes, I’m going through the seasons as well, I’m only on 7, well, almost 8 and I don’t know if I said this, but I can’t wait! lol 😉
      I want to believe. 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you well, Kate, you sound like you’ve been super busy, way to go. 🙂

      Reply

  4. Dear Donna, what a beautiful post. I tried so hard not to cry (I’m on my morning break at work… and I get little enough respect as it is without adding tearful eyes and nose to the mix).
    It was lovely to get a glimpse of the past you (with friend and boom box and backstage! 😀 ).
    You could not have chosen a better way to end this post, than David Bowie dropping in for a visit. Mega hugs dear friend.

    Reply

    1. Sorry, sweetie, I really didn’t mean to make you cry although I was crying myself when I was writing it. 🙂
      Yes, Rose and I had a lot of fun when we were young…someday I’ll have to write my memoirs lol 😉
      Yes, he was only here for a visit, to bring us happiness and then I’m sure he moves on to do the same elsewhere. 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly, dare I hope you have a new post for us?
      Megahugs Teagan and I respect you. 😉

      Reply

      1. Thanks for yet another brilliant post. Let us know when the memoirs are out. That should be interesting. Me, I plan to write my auto-biography under a pen name and label it “unauthorized” in order to gain plausible deniability for when the stepped-on toes start to howl. “Hey, don’t blame me, it was Charlie Leerenkopf that wrote it.”

      2. I should start writing them down, I may have to change some of the names heehee, but I’ll let you know, maybe a pen name is the way to go, I like your idea, hmmm, unauthorized for plausible deniability, I like that, I like it…very good. 😉
        Hope this weekend treats you kindly. 🙂

      3. I’m actually getting a sort-of break — and still posting! The best of both worlds for me. I recently did a guest post for Suzanne at A Pug in the Kitchen, so I’m re-posting that. It has a snippet from the Atonement, Tn universe that you wouldn’t have seen yet. Posting tomorrow.

        😀 Your respect means more to me than theirs! Ultra Mega hugs back! 🙂

      4. Teagan, ok, I’m back, got waylaid by a scone recipe…
        Here’s what I posted on Suzanne’s blog about your amazing Guest Post:

        Don’t know how I missed this, I’ll blame WordPress. 😉
        First, Happy Blogiversary!!! Cheers and to many more wonderful blogging years!!! 🙂
        Second, Teagan rules! Love ‘Atonement, Tennessee’ so much, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it, actually, I had to put it away when I was starting to write my book because I love it so much I was worried I might unconsciously copy it. And I never get bored of visiting Teagan’s blog, how could I, it’s magical!!
        Third, I can’t stay here much longer, after reading the drool-worthy scone recipe on another post here on A Pug In the Kitchen, I have to get baking. 🙂
        Congrats Suzanne! And thank you for giving us another Teagan fix.
        Wish me luck with the scones, but with such a lovely recipe, I doubt I’ll need it. 🙂
        Hope this weekend treats everyone kindly. 🙂

        Megahugs Teagan and I shared it all over the place too! Awesome guest post – truly magical! 🙂

  7. It is very sad losing David Bowie, Alan Rickman and many others, but I think you are right actually. Life is for living and we do have to move on in the end. At least we can still think back and remember those who have gone, from time to time as they are still in out hearts and minds. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Very sad and then I just found out Grizzly Adams died, wait, I’m not sure I know his real name, Dan Haggerty? Anyway, I loved that show and had a huge crush on Grizzly Adams and an even bigger crush on his bear, Ben, I think he was called Bozo in real life which seemed a rather undignified name for a majestic bear, but I digress…
      If the last month’s cancer toll doesn’t convince people a) despite an conspiracy theories we clearly don’t have a secret cure for cancer, and b) they need to find a cure for cancer and not keep it a secret.
      They’ll always been in our hearts (broken or otherwise). 🙂

      Reply

      1. I am sad to hear about Dan Haggarty too. I also remember him in Grizzly Adams. We really need to find a cure for cancer especially the more aggressive ones like pancreatic and liver cancer.

  8. That was a beautiful tribute post to these legends. You have amazing ways to do that! Very appreciative and looking forward! I love that a lot and how you incorporated the songs into the post! Did I get that right? You got backstage passes to David Bowie?

    Reply

    1. Thank you kindly, they gave us so much, we’ll certain miss them. 🙂
      Yes, to that and a lot of stuff, oh the bravery of youth! Most of it was once we started the magazine, but quite a bit before too. 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you well, Erika, and thanks for dropping by. 🙂

      Reply

      1. Oh wow! You really were there. That is awesome!!! What a fantastic youth you had! Let’s see how the weekend will be…. I’ll tell you on Monday… haha! But by then I wish you a great one. And thank you for another fantstic post! 😊

      2. I was everywhere lol 😉
        Oh, sounds like a promising weekend. 🙂
        Thanks, Erika, can’t wait to hear about your weekend. 🙂

  9. Great post and I like that: “Memories are fun, but not fuel for life.” And the bit about remembering people who have died with the memory bumps becoming a bit smoother round the edges.

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  10. I heard a radio ad, while driving home yesterday, for discounted cremations. ‘Don’t go here and pay upwards of £2,000, don’t go there and pay about the same. Come to us and let us burn you for the bargain price of just over £1,000.’ I nearly crashed the car. I paraphrase ever so slightly but what an ad! It seemed kind of crass. Plus I’m sure someone could burn me for a whole lot less. No pressure.
    Now, back to that living thing. Still got some of that to do. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Wow, that’s really, I don’t know, messed up? I thought shopping for funeral needs at Costco was weird enough – ‘Honey, could you pick up bread, milk, eggs, olive oil, six years worth of vitamins and oh, maybe a nice casket, maybe stainless steel to go with out new fridge’. Sometimes I feel like I’m viewing the world through those cool kaleidoscopes we had as kids.
      Have a lovely weekend (no burning – stuff to do, remember?). 😉

      Reply

    1. Thank you kindly, I’m glad you enjoy them. 🙂
      Using images is fun, like a part of the creativity. 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you well. 🙂

      Reply

      1. Thanks for the reply. The weekend was quite with a sick husband and a recovering kid. But today is a holiday and I’m hoping to enjoy it. Hope your weekend was full of joy and good things and lots of fodder for your blog.

      4. I’m trying to decide if I should ignore the weather reports, they keep using the ‘s’ word and we have too much already. 😉

  13. Donna, always love reading your posts, packed with thought-provoking things. Pure creativity goes into your writing! Have a wonder-filled weekend! Chryssa

    Reply

    1. Thank you, Chryssa (I love your name, every time I see it I want to use it in a novel). 🙂
      Kind of you to say, I’m so glad you enjoyed it, hopefully as much as I enjoyed writing it. 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you well. 🙂

      Reply

  14. The one sad thing about living is when those we love, stop. Would be nice if we could all hang around until we tire of each other. Then we could say, “Glad he or she’s gone.” Lovely post

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    1. You’re right, Tess, live every minute – there are no second chances, no do-overs – this is it! 🙂
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly. 🙂

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  17. I love this post, Donna. A trip down memory lane for you that is tinged with sweet nostalgia. Those were the days, are still the days, will be the days until we’re stardust. Love your message to live them 🙂

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  18. Thank you for this lovely post. Sobbing again. Just about a week before Bowie died, I lost a close friend and he visited me in a dream this week. Here’s hoping Bowie will do the same for those who loved him–whether they’d met him or not.

    Reply

    1. Mary, I know words can’t even touch the pain of such a loss, but I’m so sorry. I’m glad you found comfort from the visit. Don’t stop the tears, they’re natural and part of the healing. I hope all those who lose loved ones can find comfort. My thoughts are with you.

      Reply

  19. A beautiful tribute, Donna. To the famous legends, and the legends closer to home. I’ve not reached the ‘less bumpy’ quite yet, but am comforted to know that there are smoother roads ahead.

    Wishing you a good week. Kimmie x #blogsharelearn

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much, Kimmie, the less bumpy part is out there, it just comes at different times down different roads for each of us, but it’s all worth the ride! 🙂
      I see you popped over from Elena’s #BlogShareLearn Linky Party, is it still going strong, I’ll have to wander back and see who’s wearing the blog lampshade! lol 😉
      Hope this weekend treats you kindly, sweetie. 🙂

      Reply

      1. Still going strong. I need to get back over there myself before the days out 🙂

  20. I LOVED #4 … you rock!! At no time in my life, have I ever even considered doing something like this. Singing Rebel, Rebel to David Bowie scores super-high on the cool meter!!

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  21. Wonderful post! It was a tough week for sure. I’ll miss David Bowe so very much. And Allan too. Heartbreaking for sure. I’ve lost a lot of folks I’ve loved too and when my pug passed almost two years ago, that one tore my heart out. I hope 2016 is a bit brighter for all of us!

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  22. Me too #Donnamazing l never actually learned too trust again after did it all for her and when l was going through a nervous breakdown she had an affair sold the car l bought her and bought a new one – not paying the rent on the home my mother lived in and it got repossessed she bought a new car and went to her new man.
    Then it happened twice more and my 💔 never told many people hope you don’t mind my woes … Just saying this great post brought it flooding back into my mind .. Not so painful as ⏲⏱is a great healer added it as always with lots of hugs and xxxx see it’s mended my ❤️

    http://wp.me/p4kIzR-2sm

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this, Ian. I never mind your woes, I just wish people understood how to treat people well. I know they say time heals all wounds, but they never say how much time…I guess that’s because that’s different for everyone.
      Hope this weekend is treating you kindly and thank you again, for your kind words and all the support. 🙂

      Reply

    1. I bet you have a laugh as wonderful as you, David, full of life and love. Thanks for the kind words, I’m happy to hear I made you happy. 🙂
      Humongous Happy Hugs xo

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    1. I know, even as I was writing the post more deaths were announced. We need to enjoy each day, we really do. 🙂
      Isn’t Vicky over at #WeekendBlogShare lovely, so generous helping bring the world more #bloglove 🙂

      Reply

    1. Thank you kindly. I gave him Alexander since it has so many options – Alexander, Alex, Al, Alec, Lex, Xander, but I love Xander and it seems to suit him. 😉

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  26. No do overs, no regrets. And, I’ve seen the broken heart syndrome in action. It’s a real thing. My cousin married a man whose mother died from cancer – two weeks later his father, who was so devoted to her, died from a heart attack.

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  27. Yes, broken hearts are killers. 🙁 This pic is the doctor I like! “When dinosaurs roamed the earth.” You’re so funny!!
    I love your posts, you see the humor in everything. You make me smile. Please never stop!
    Melinda

    Reply

    1. Thanks, I do love to laugh and I love to make others laugh too, maybe I missed my calling in stand-up. 😉
      Hope your weekend is full of smiles, Melinda. 🙂

      Reply

      1. You do a great job! Maybe you should try stand-up! I couldn’t face the rejection! At least with blogging, I can’t see who doesn’t like me!
        Oh, it was! Thanks Donna.

    1. Thank you so much, for the kind words and the follow!!! Welcome, hope we can virtually visit often. 🙂
      Hope this weekend is being good to you so far. 🙂

      Reply

  31. Love this post! I remember hanging around the Eaton Centre too, though the only famous person I saw was Fabio 🙁 I also remember Toronto gigs and smoky clubs, taking the GO train home, running to get the last one.
    Those days are gone, but still remain…

    Reply

    1. But Fabio, he’s so Fabio!!! 😉
      Those were good times, weird drunks, creepy people and yes, smoky clubs… 😉
      Good times, Helen, they stay, hopefully long after all that smoke has left our lungs! 😉

      Reply

      1. He was rather Fabio, much better looking in person, actually :-). And yes, the smoke – hard to believe now,though it was part of the ambience then. You knew you’d had a night out when your clothes still smelt of smoke the next day…

      2. Really? That’s impressive. 😉
        Sometimes even after you’d shower the next day you’d catch a bit of smoke and think, oops, still me…even though I’ve never smoked, I’m sure my lungs don’t agree. 😉

  32. This was a fantastic read, and a great trip down memory lane Donna. I remember a lot of those things, in the good old dinosaur days. I went to so many concerts at Maple Leaf Gardens, which I still feel puts the Air Canada Centre to shame! I love your attitude! Happy weekend fellow Canadian girl! 🙂

    Reply

    1. It was sometimes dangerous standing in line with all those dinosaurs roaming around, but we manged… lol 😉
      Maple Leaf Gardens was a killer venue, wow, that brings back memories too, well, what I can remember of those days. 😉
      Happy weekend to you well, eh. 🙂

      Reply

      1. Eh! Thanks Donna. Yup, I used to go to a lot of hockey games with friends, and wait out the back door for autographs and a glimpse of a hunky hockey player. 🙂

      4. I’m from up near Sudbury originally, so hockey, well, what do they say, you can take the girl out of Sudbury, but not Sudbury out of the girl? lol 😉

  33. What a beautiful tribute – gave me tears and determination all at once. I can’t wait for the X-Files – it was always a favourite.

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    1. I’m so glad to hear that, glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
      I feel like a child waiting for Christmas and the gift I get to open – The X-Files! Tomorrow they’re doing a sneak preview The X-Files reopened, I guess to get us even more primed. 😉

      Reply

  34. I love too many people with cancer. I’ve lost too many people with cancer. You had me crying here. Life is so difficult. Yup. It sure is.

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    1. Sally, thank you so much for the reblog, very kind of you. 🙂
      I’m glad people enjoyed it. I know wherever Bowie, Rickman, Haggerty, and so many more that must go are, they know they left us with happy memories behind the tears. 🙂
      Thank you again and hope this week is good to you. 🙂
      Big hugs. 🙂

      Reply

  36. You are right. People pass away and we miss them forever, but life goes on anyway. Good post. Made me both remembering and smile for all light moments with people I miss.

    Reply

      1. You are so right. I learned that through the losses of people. We don’t have time to waste, we only have time to live 🙂

  37. Reblogged this on sherriemiranda1 and commented:
    I have heard it said that Mother Teresa died of a broken heart. I believe my sister almost died of a broken heart after my mother’s untimely death. But she got heart surgery & is feeling much better.
    As Ms. Parker says broken hearts can kill you, so what do you prefer? Carry on, with the lessons you learned from those we loved & admired, as a part of who we are now? Or die too, likely forgotten because we haven’t finished what we came for?
    I choose the former.
    Although my debut novel is out, I have much more to do. And David Bowie taught me more than I’ll ever know about being myself & embracing that person despite mistakes & losses & broken hearts.
    Peace, love & carrying on the dream,
    Sherrie
    Sherrie Miranda’s historically based, coming of age, Adventure novel “Secrets & Lies in El Salvador” is about an American girl in war-torn El Salvador:
    http://tinyurl.com/klxbt4y
    Her husband made a video and song for her novel. You can find it on YouTube under the same title as the novel.

    Reply

    1. Sherrie, thank you, not only or the lovely reblog, but the amazing words.
      I sincerely hope I get a chance to read your debut novel someday.
      And I totally agree, I choose the former – I’ve got a lot of living that I’ve got to do. 🙂
      Thank you again and I hope now that we’ve found each other in this giant virtual haystack we can virtually visit often. 🙂
      Hope this week treats you kindly. 🙂

      Reply

    1. I know, it’s weird and thanks, hadn’t read it, but good. Yes, I always thought it was just an expression, but no, it’s a real thing. 🙂
      Hope this week treats you…and your heart well. 🙂

      Reply

  40. Excellent post and such wise thoughts concerning time and moments…
    Thumbs up for the X Files… I am actually watching the Seventh Season on Netflix… Did you know that most episodes were filmed in Vancouver, despite the show being american?…
    Virtual hugs. Happy week ahead to you. Aquileana 😉🌟

    Reply

    1. Thank you kindly, Aquileana. 🙂
      I’m counting down now…can’t wait. Yes, so much stuff is filmed here in Canada, as a Canadian I can always tell by the supporting cast, faces so familiar to us. 😉
      Virtual hugs and hope this week is being good to you so far. xo

      Reply

  41. Hi, Donna

    What’s a unique post to comfort people who are struggling for lost of love ones!
    ” Ashes to ashes, dust to stardust, we know people we loved I lost are still with us…” really home for many people.
    The memories of them will keep our spirit alive that they are still with us .

    Will share!

    – Stella Chiu

    Reply

  42. Amazing number of comments for a new blog post. Well done! Unusual approach with all your video clips. It must take you ages!

    Reply

    1. I guess the living fills up our memory cups, to the brim and sometimes overflowing. Thanks Mitch and hope this week is treating you well. 🙂

      Reply

  46. 2016 has gotten off to a grim start, to be sure, but here’s hoping there’s nowhere to go but up. David Bowie and Alan Rickman so close together was quite a shock.

    That was a great story about getting tickets to the David Bowie concert. It’s a great tribute to your friend. 🙂

    Reply

    1. It has been bumpy, but alas, it is part of life.
      Thank you, we had some amazing times, she was an amazing person. 🙂
      Hope this week is treating you well. 🙂

      Reply

  47. Yes. To the entire post, yes.
    Also, for a long time (before cancer) Under Pressure was nearly an anthem for me. Now, under slightly less pressure (or the good kind?) I get to simply enjoy the song!
    Thank you for posting, as always. I look forward to each one. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Enjoying the song inside of feeling ‘Under pressure’ is a much better way to go.
      Thank you kindly and I hope everything is going well. 🙂

      Reply

  48. Great pics 🙂 And I liked the dirt jokes 🙂
    Thanks for the reminders, too…it can be hard to go forward from a pleasant past into an uncertain future, but we’ll never have what that awesome future could be if we don’t…

    Reply

    1. Thank you kindly, I did too… 😉
      Exactly, move forward, keeping the past were it belongs, in memories. 🙂
      Hope this day is treating you well and I’m glad we found each other, hope we can virtually visit often. 🙂

      Reply

  49. Reblogged this on Teachezwell Blog and commented:
    Love this post. We do mourn, but there’s still time to help the living! D. Parker and I both lived with dinosaurs when we were young (she brought it up, not me). I thought she’d been eaten, but apparently not. Good to know. You’ll love her site, by the way!

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for the reblog and the kind words and yes, it could be scary standing in line with dinosaurs or dancing or whatever because, you know, there’s always that one, the carnivore who sees you as meal instead of a friend. 😉
      Hope this week treats you well. 🙂

      Reply

    1. Oh Barbara, that’s lovely, that reaction is more than I could have hoped for. Thank you kindly and hope this week is treating you well. Big hugs. 🙂

      Reply

  51. I think this is supposed to be a bit sad, and I feel a little bad for having some giggles. I love that you mentioned the kobayashi maru. And we could probably talk about it at length if we ever met. That tickles me to no end.

    But sad. Yes. Very sad.

    Reply

    1. It has always been my philosophy that laughter can do wonders, life is meant for the living. 😉
      Yes, as a decades (I won’t say how many…) long Trekker this stuff just slides in… 🙂

      Reply

    1. My grandma used to say those who touch our hearts stay in them forever…I think she was right and those memories help heal our hearts. 🙂
      Thank you, Judy and hope this day is treating you well. 🙂

      Reply

    1. That’s enough, but thank goodness not as bad as some. I remember a few years back we got 100cm, about 39 inches in one day…I do not want to do that again. Take care and take it slow with the shoveling. Is it at least good snowperson-making snow? 😉

      Reply

  54. So many people touch our lives for so many reasons, it is beyond sad when they die, but they live on in our memories. I loved Bowie, still do. I admired Alan Rickman, and still do. 🙂

    Reply

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