Day: July 13, 2014

Posted in Canada, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized

Gravity vs. Supermoon: Whoever Wins We Lose

Posted on by D. Parker

1moon10Everywhere I turn people are talking about the Supermoon.
Have we run out of superheroes?
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes not as exciting as expected?
Bored with soccer?
The heat finally getting to us?
Is the moon this close to Earth really affecting our brains?
I have no answers; just curious.

Thinking of this Supermoon and all the fuss I thought I’d finally watch Gravity, it seemed somehow fitting.
Someone should have warned me I needed anti-nausea pills.
I felt like I was spinning…and it wasn’t just George Clooney, handsome devil.

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While I enjoyed Gravity, I had a few issues, with the movie, although real gravity and I have had many issues over the years, and now it’s involving my face…

1. Sandra Bullock should not look this good, even with help.

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2. I wanted to hear the end of George Clooney’s story about Mardi Gras 1987, really, I just want to hear George Clooney talk, I mean, as hot movie boyfriends go we’ve had a great relationship, sure, we’ve had our imaginary ups and downs…
But I digress…

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3. It made me dizzy. And a little nauseated. But I guess in a good way.

4. It made me think (gasp) of how you can be just as alone surrounded by a hundred, a thousand, a million, a billion people as you can in the cold silence of space. It was like Castaway, in space, but shorter, and no Wilson.

5. Watching Gravity I couldn’t help but think, if this space station slows to less than 17,500 miles per hour it will blow up (clearly I have seen Speed too many times).

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Here are some tips for getting through #Supermoon2014:dw13

  •  Stay calm. It’s still the moon, just closer in its elliptical orbit than usual.  It’s not going to fall on us or significantly change the tides…well, unless some aliens do something, but then have no fear, The Doctor (DoctorWho) will save us.

  • Don’t go near any werewolves, I have no scientific evidence to back this up but I’m guessing Supermoons make werewolves hungrier.

  • If you’re going to dance naked, pay tribute or alternately worship the Supermoon, remember, everyone has a camera with them at all times.

  • There will be 2 more Supermoons this summer, August 10 and September 9, so if you miss out you can see it later.

  •  The moon is slowly moving away from the Earth which is sad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I’d hoped we could work things out.

1moon4So, enjoy the gorgeous supermoons (5 in total in 2014); Earth won’t be destroyed, unless it turns out that it’s not the moon but the Death Star.

“I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.” ~Lemony Snicket