Posted in Blogs, Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Fibromyalgia, Food, Holidays, Televison, Weight

My Birthday, New Year’s Resolutions – Those aren’t the floorboards creaking

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I should have stood in bed…I don’t know where that joke came from, other than my Dad used to say it, but some mornings more than others, I understand.
I got up the morning of a birthday and realized the creaking I heard as I walked away from my bed wasn’t from the floorboards. I’ve quipped that if I’d known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself, but hey, who knew, also, it probably wouldn’t have changed much. Realistically would I really go back and change? Maybe some, but most I wouldn’t have missed for the world.

So I faced off against the of ghostly visit of another birthday (very quiet because I ended up being too sick and exhausted to do much, foiled again by life with the help of Fibromyalgia).

120152Also, on the cusp of another New Year (really, again?) I realized I had once more forgotten to make resolutions, such as, but not limited to:

1. Lose 20 more lbs. – wait, I think it sounds better in kilograms.

2. Eat healthier – I’ll try even harder, but I’ve made certain promises to chocolate and I always keep my word.

3. Learn something new – I’m still working on a lifetime of other stuff I’m trying to learn, cut me some slack.

4. Save money – so much easier if you actually have money.

5. Become rich and famous – most of the time I don’t think about being broke and obscure much, but at Christmas or around people who aren’t broke and obscure it’s easier to remember how much it sucks.

On the bright side, I don’t have to quit or cut back on alcohol, smoking, coffee, drugs, wow, how am I even a writer?

So as I bid adieu to another birthday and another year, my New Year’s Resolutions are simple: Do my best, after all, it’s not like I can do someone’s best.

Are you making New Year’s Resolutions, my dear readers, if so, what are they, if not, why not?120153

Thank you all for making this a surprising and amazing blogging year!

Wishing everyone a safe, happy and healthy 2015!

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Posted in Books, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Food, Holidays, Monty Python, Movies, Televison

Jujumagumbo or my version of a Boxing Day Blowout

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I know that you know that I’m not braving the crowds…I’ve spent the day walking, reading, playing games, still trying to get over last night’s Doctor Who Inception/Alien/Santa episode, eating leftovers, watching Psych with my son…and avoiding the chocolates calling my name from the pantry.

I adore Monty Python, like, forever (even got a Ministry of Silly Walks watch for Christmas, awesomeness), so I borrowed a digital copy of The Gospel According to Monty Python (First Edition Design Publishing) on Netgalley.com for the price of an honest review, for which they might be sorry. The author, Julian Doyle, best known for directing Kate Bush’s epic, Cloudbusting video (with the amazing Donald Sutherland) and Iron Maiden’s Can I Play with Madness? video (Graham Chapman in one of his last appearances before his 1989 death); also worked in various parts of filmmaking, editing, special effects, etc., even the policeman who puts his hand over the lens at the end of Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

Fans know Python not only pushes the envelope, but licks it shut, stamps it, mails it off knowing it’s going around the world to cause havoc and laughter, then waits for it to return, runs the envelope over with a steamroller before opening it and realizing it’s not their mail. I expected great things from this book, it’s there, but much is incoherent. Bits and bobs are fascinating and funny, others incomprehensible in the garbly gobbly gook. I’m sure with government funding this post could have been a lot sillier, ok, I’ve regressed to Ministry of Silly Walks again.1psych9

As for Psych, still one of the best gifts of laughter for any time of year, I needed at least 2 more seasons…and a movie. Please?

Playing board games, always fun, but playing video games, for me, like taking a banana to a gun fight, my only hope is someone will slip on the banana peel so I can run.

Sadly, the chocolates calling my name have gotten louder as I type this, drowning out any rational arguments as to why they should not be devoured.

Mmmm, maybe some chocolate-covered pineapplePsych fans will understand.1choc24

Posted in Cats, Chocolate, Christmas, Doctor Who, Family, Food, Holidays

It’s all about the…Ding Dong Merrily

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‘I got you the best gift ever, except if you don’t like it, then it was someone’s stupid idea’, was what I was thinking, luckily not saying aloud, as I heard people talking about gifts.

Sometimes it can feel like Christmas is like one long audition for a TV show where you have to:
guess what people like and if they still like it;
if they’ve already bought it;
if they’ve bought it and hate it;
if they’re ever going to forgive you for buying it;
if they ever gave any indication they liked or hated similar gifts.
Does the gift show them you don’t know them well enough or too well?
Price, style, coolness and don’t even get started on sizes…1love3

Here are some ‘safe’ Christmas gift ideas…or are they?

1. Lottery tickets – even come in holiday packs. How would feel like if someone won big from this gift? Happy for them, but would some part of thinking, should have kept that ticket.
2. Of the Month Clubs – make sure they’ll like whatever is coming to their door once a month. Guessing a man came up with this idea.
3. Little jars of various foods – perfect, er, except food allergies.
1bat24. Seeds – be clear, for planting, not eating or vice versa.
5. Batman robe or costume – doesn’t everyone want to be Batman?
6. Spa or maid service – unless they have germ issues and don’t want strangers in their home.
7. Craft beer, wines, etc.  – but what they don’t or can’t drink? Don’t drive them to drink just to make your gift useful. #loveyousomebooze
8. Skydiving – if they hate heights, um, maybe a book?
9. Cool USB sticks – they can be hip, wait, is that still a thing?
10. Coffee, tea, chocolate, popcorn, candy, fruit? If they don’t like one of these, I got nothing, you’re on your own.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season doing whatever it is they’re doing!!!

Posted in Blogs, Christmas, Family, Political, Uncategorized

1,000,000 views can’t be wrong aka does Santa believe in you?

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Thank you all my wonderful readers for pushing me past 100,000 views. The title counts the views from all the other blogs I follow and who follow me…Am I close? It’s probably much higher. It’s not about the numbers for me, but I admit, seeing that number was neat.

When I started this blog over a year ago I had no idea the best part of blogging would be finding other bloggers, tweeters (is that a word?), readers, etc.

You have made my world brighter, thank you.

Well, the big moment is almost here, the ultimate reveal, have you been naughty or nice? And what does that even mean?
Maybe you don’t believe in labels.
Or maybe the naughty/nice thing is a sliding scale.
This could be like watching the Hoarders and deciding your home is actually quite clean, no need to dust again.
Worst Drivers, hey, my parking is awesome.
Real Housewives, when was the last time you threw a drink in someone’s face?
No terrorist acts, check.
Didn’t commit any illegal acts, check.
Didn’t shut down the government, check.
I may have this thing locked down.

Maybe not as important for you to believe in Santa as it is for Santa to believe in you.1athank5

Watching the news it’s easy to think the naughty list is longer than the nice list. Terrorism, hostage takings, rape, murder, abuse, corruption, racism, sexism, misogyny, neglect, destroying the planet, disease, poverty, hunger, war…Truth or skewed? A ‘if it bleeds it leads’ version of reality? If naughty is winning, we’ll have to work harder in 2015 to push the nice agenda.
1athank3This Christmas, whether you celebrate or not, believe or not, give yourself and others the gift of peace, love, tolerance, compassion, understanding, and above all, hope…keeping in mind cookies, also nice.

All the best to you and yours in this the holiday season and all the year through! Merry Christmas and a safe, happy, and healthy 2015 to all!!!

 

Posted in Christmas, Food, Movies, Televison, Uncategorized, Zombies

Of Interviews, Missing Shoes, and Mouse King Blues

1christmas64I had the peculiar dream last night, one of those dreams where you wake up and wonder if you’re still dreaming.
It’s said that the brain processes all the information it received that day…I guess my day was messed up.

It began innocently enough, I’m baking cookies, except every time I turned around, they’re gone. I decided the cookies must be outside, which makes no sense, but hey, it’s a dream. I couldn’t find any of my shoes so I put on ballet slippers I don’t own, my ballet skills are limited to a very, very scary-looking Pirouette and if I Jeté I end up on my derrière.
But I digress.

Putting on the slippers I’m transformed into The Mouse King from The Nutcracker, really, not The Sugar Plum Fairy or Clara, not even a candy cane dancer? Sigh.

1christmas63I find the cookies outside, growing near where Seth Rogen and James Franco are resting on the lawn looking at clouds. I ask them what’s up with their movie The Interview. They’re reluctant to talk to me, I’m a scary Mouse King munching on cookies right beside their head, but eventually they dish. They admit the hacking stuff was part publicity stunt via Sony and part mad North Korea. We chat for awhile about censorship, freedom of speech, and that giving terrorists and blackmailers what they want is a bad idea, but people getting hurt is bad too. It’s a conundrum. I mention their ‘usual’ audience would barely remember this movie afterwards. These threats actually give it credibility. James Franco agrees wholeheartedly then politely points out that I’m nibbling on Seth Rogen’s arm. I apologize profusely, but in my defense, he is cheesy.

I’m carried back into the house by Daryl Dixon, technically Norman Reedus, but it’s my dream, so he’s Daryl from The Walking Dead and we find Lena Dunham (Girls), making more cookie dough. We chat about how her show, which we agree to disagree is just Seinfeld, Friends, and Sex and the City for 20-somethings, and naturally the subjects of censorship and where my shoes could be come up again as I used my mouse tail to mix the dough.

I woke up realizing I should probably cut down on TV and stop baking so many cookies. Anyone have any interpretations?

Posted in Cats, Christmas, Family, Holidays, Political

GO HOME CHRISTMAS YOU’RE DRUNK

1christmas53Go home Christmas you’re drunk…
on power.

There’s no escape. Resistance is futile.

Yet what about those who don’t celebrate Christmas?
Or don’t have anyone with whom to celebrate?
Or those for whom it holds bad memories?
Or those who have other beliefs?
Or what if you love the holidays, but don’t like the commercialism and drama of it?
They still have to fight the crowds, listen to incessant carols, and have their world look like Christmas has been sick everywhere.

We’re still hearing abo1christmas52ut the War on Christmas when really, it looks more like Christmas has gone on a bender. Christmas is bigger than ever. Santa is still selling Coke. Jesus is still praised at midnight masses. Commercialism is still going strong.

Stores use terms like Season’s Greetings and Happy Holidays to allegedly be inclusive, really it’s to extend the shopping period. The sustained commercialism has made for sustained greetings. Offices use these terms because Christmas cheer reduces productivity. Also, Christmas isn’t the only religious or non-religious celebration this time of year, how about: Yule, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Chalica, Bodhi Day, Sadeh, Pancha Ganapati, Hogmanay, Yalda and yes, even Feast of Winter Veil and Festivus. Including others, I can’t think of anyone, especially in the Bible who would be for that…oh wait.

I don’t understand how saying Happy Holidays offends. That’s like saying I can’t eat cookies because you’re on a diet. If someone saying Season’s Greetings will shatter a belief in Christ, there’s a problem. Poor Christmas, maybe it needs to stop worrying about what others think of it.

If only we spent more time worrying about peace, kindness, love, hope, and everyone having enough.

Posted in Books, Christmas, Holidays, Movies, Televison

Shadows of what may be…

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What happens in this big wide world doesn’t always add up to what we know to be true or real. We scoff at some unseen forces yet believe others wholeheartedly. Fate, hope, deities, magic, miracles, spirits, destiny, love, supernatural beings…what we know may seem important, but it’s what we don’t know that’s really important.

Charles Dickens really spoiled us, setting a high bar for Christmas redemption stories with A Christmas Carol. It’s universal theme, the belief that no matter what we’ve done, no matter what mistakes or poor choices we’ve made, we can be redeemed, that we can fix it, do more, be more. So we tell the story again and again in various forms with: Muppets, Mr. Magoo, Doctor Who, Disney, Alastair Sim, George C. Scott, Jim Carrey, Patrick Stewart, Nicolas Cage, Albert Finney, Bill Murray, Tim Curry, Smurfs, Flintstones, Looney Tunes… hard-hearted, narcissistic Scrooges who learn the error of their ways and try to honour Christmas in their hearts all the year through. I always found Scrooge’s epiphany a little suspect, he doesn’t seem too affected by the spirits until he sees his own death.

As I watched Winter’s Tale I was in awe, first of Colin Farrell’s allegedly nonchalant haircuts and then by the joy of this fairytale of redemption. An ambitious1christmas46 allegory (loosely adapted from the 1983 Mark Helprin novel of the same name, definitely worth the read despite it’s rambling length) with an astonishing cast including: William Hurt, Jennifer Connelly, Graham Greene, Russell Crowe, Will Smith, Lucy Griffiths, Eva Marie Saint and Jessica Brown Findlay (most may know her as Sybil from Downton Abbey; the actress so far seems doomed to be popular playing parts where she gets involved with people below her station then dies from early 1900s ailments). While I was at it, I reread Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale, another story of love, grace, and redemption.

So many of these works pose age-old questions, can the unseen force of love really overcome the bad choices we’ve made? Can the invisible power of hope defeat the evil that stalks the human race, often hidden in our own free will?

Always good to be reminded, we don’t have to see to believe, perhaps we need to believe to see…or just believe.