Posted in Blogs, Canada, Chocolate, Uncategorized

Can’t You Just Pretend To Be Nice?

Posted on by D. Parker

Can't You Just Pretend To Be Nice?Life is choosing. Choosing to be happy or sad. Nice or mean. Hopeful or hopeless. Among the mass of expectations, concepts, beliefs, abstractions, and stereotypes swirls millions and millions of choices. We’re not always going to make the right choices. Sometimes we’re mean and feel sorry, sometimes we’re sorry we’re not more mean.

I recently rewatched Josie and the Pussycats, the movie, although I loved the cartoon also – https://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/08/09/i-miss-saturday-morning-cartoons/ – it reminded me:

1) It’s hilarious, even 15 years later, maybe more so;
2) It’s wise and relevant, especially about how we’re brandwashed, er, brainwashed;
3) The words to the song keep echoing through my head, “Can’t you just pretend to be nice, can you at least pretend to be nice, if you could just pretend to be nice, then everything in my life would be alright.”

Can't You Just Pretend To Be Nice6

For me, people who pretend to be nice are pretty much as annoying as meanies. “A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”- Dave Barry Yet there are still tons of genuinely nice people…but we’re designed to notice danger, it’s for survival. We notice loud stuff, outrageous stuff, bad stuff – it was meant to help us notice danger, pay attention to danger, to keep us safe and to keep our loved ones safe, but now, sigh, there’s the internet, you know the internet, like your neighbourhood gossip on steroids, virally, digitally frothing at the mouth.

Sorry Call Me Elf

Texts, tweets, memes, video, posts, gifs, statuses, chats, comments, updates, etc., blaming, blaming, blaming – basically blaming everyone – immigrants, women, social assistance recipients, minorities, religions, etc., well, that won’t get you a job, or make the rich stop screwing you (without consent or foreplay). Just as spewing vitriol won’t change your economic or socioeconomic status, or get you  something you want, or bring back those you love. Sorry Grandma and Grandpa, sorry Mom and Dad, your famous, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” is stone cold dead. We’re all quickly learning you’re entitled to your own opinion and your own facts – just ask The Incredible Trump.

Sorry green is the new orange

Maybe it’s easier to lash out than look in. Is it easier to yell at a clerk? Or scream at a receptionist (by the way, no one was paying any attention to your information until you screamed)? Or sharpen your claws: ‘You’re so brave to wear that shirt.’ Brave, really, I’m not running into a burning building to save babies and puppies, oh I see, you’re being catty. Than to just be nice?

Sorry brave new fashion world

When I asked an ex (note the word ‘ex’, for many, many reasons) why he couldn’t just be nice, his answer was, ‘it’s too much work’. Really? Could that possibly be it? Is it just easier to snark, snarl, sneer? Easier to mock, mimic, moan? Is meanness, ridicule, viciousness, derision a form of laziness?

Sorry Picard trauma

Bad guys, bad boys, charismatic anti-heroes are cool on TV, in movies and books https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/03/06/charming-savage-events/ but in real life, not so much.

Sorry TVD

Then again, if you’re not: molesting, abusing, being racist, getting all mass murdery, killing serially or non-sequentially, making human skin coats, terrorizing, stealing, lying, raping (yes, creepy, horrible Stanford rapist and any other rapists, no still means no and to clarify, unconscious also means no; not difficult to understand), you probably still qualify as ‘nice’, but hopefully we can try to raise the bar way, way higher.

Sorry Harry Potter
Speaking of nice, I’m thrilled (thank you kindly) to be one of the winners of the Blogger’s Pit Stop and The Pinterest Game – please drop by, visit, share, it’s a great way to connect with other bloggers and lots of fun.

Sorry The Doctor
Julie http://juleskalpauli.com/bloggers-pit-stop-27/ featuring: https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/ and https://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/01/04/so-youve-ruined-your-lifenow-what/
Kathleen https://www.kathleenaherne.com/the-blog/
Janice  http://mostlyblogging.com/
Debbie http://coachdebbieruns.com/
https://www.kathleenaherne.com/pinterest-game-47a/ and
https://www.kathleenaherne.com/pinterest-game-47b/

Sorry not so cuddly

Get out there, be a shameless social media self-promoting bloghussy (like me), most of all, enjoy!
Where I’m a complete twit: https://twitter.com/yadadarcyyada
Endlessly baffled by humanity: https://www.facebook.com/yadadarcyyada
The desert where I wander: http://www.pinterest.com/dpark2/
Where I google, not nearly as fun as it sounds: https://plus.google.com/112672588892199127381/posts

respect13

To the best of my knowledge, there’s no standardized testing for ignorance, intolerance, meanness, or unhappiness yet, but I’d buy stocks in that future booming business. Be nice, you don’t know what people have been through or are going through.

Sorry - Share a Post

Is it too late to say sorry? ‘Cause I’m missing more than just your bloggy. Yeah, I know-oh-oh, I want to be a good neighbour bloggy (ok, perhaps I’m not going to be rapper anytime soon). I know it’s a busy time of year, but drop by whenever, dears, my blogdoor is always open. Please leave links in the comment box. Drop by often. Enjoy the virtual cake, chocolate, cupcakes, tarts, pies, cookies, and er, liquid refreshments. Meet and greet other bloggers. Introduce yourself. Be kind. Be nice. Have fun. Obvious now I’m from Canada, eh? Sorry.

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Very me

421 thoughts on “Can’t You Just Pretend To Be Nice?”

    1. There are so many cool links here, it’s lovely for bloggers to find each other in this giant virtual haystack. 🙂
      So glad you could drop by and share your post with everyone, pop over as often as you’d like and share as many as you’d like, my blogdoor is always open. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. Yes! That’s for taking the wimbly wobbly timey wimey to leave this link – I’m a 4 decade long Whovian and loved this, lots of fun, which Doctor Who is, but with a lot of depth.
      My pleasure, I enjoy your posts, so I should be thanking you. 🙂
      Drop by as often as you’d like and leave as many links as you like so others can enjoy them too. 🙂
      Now, Don’t Blink, Don’t Turn Away and Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Thanks so much! This is a great post and should be shared. Drop back as often as you’d like to mix and mingle and leave more links, if you’d like. 🙂
      Hope you had sweet dreams (despite the news). 🙂

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    1. You may need a few shots of espresso to get you through all these, Carol. lol 😉
      Thanks for sharing you awesome post, when I shared it I was going to use the hashtag #happyendings but I did that once before and it got creepy real fast. Lesson learned. 😉
      Hope this week is treating you kindly, pop back anytime and leave more amazing links. 🙂

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    1. I learn new stuff every day, sometimes I relearn stuff too, aw, the joys of aging. 😉
      Thanks for dropping by and sharing this awesome blogging advice post, I think it will help a lot of people.
      Hope this week is being good to you so far. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. Pingback: Featured Bloggers 6/16/16: How to Network Your Blog | Dream Big, Dream Often

    1. Thank you so much. 🙂
      Wow, thanks for leaving these links, not only to your blog, but to your HuffPost work, congrats. 🙂
      Glad we could find each other, hope this weekend treats you well. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. My blogdoor is always open, Kathleen. I should be thanking you, you’re always so supportive, so generous, and so kind. 🙂
      Feel free to drop by as often as you like, share as many posts as you like, your own, Blogger’s Pit Stop, The Pinterest Game, etc. Even leave others or social media links, whatever suits. 🙂
      I’ve popped by the Blogger’s Pit Stop and The Pinterest Games, but I will be back again.
      Best wishes and have a glorious weekend. 🙂

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  17. I am sharing my post for this week’s Share Your World
    It is a challenge hosted by Cee Neuner and a fun way to share a little of yourself and learn a little about others https://momtheobscure.wordpress.com/2016/06/17/syw-week-24/
    https://ceenphotography.com/2016/06/13/share-your-world-2016-week-24/
    I’m really bad at self-promoting and being open.
    The above blog is where I share my world and write flash fictions. I also have another blog where I attempt to sort out what I will feed my family, how I can be well and any other rants – It’s a developing blog in process, I owe so much to D. Parker and her blog.
    https://thisobscurelife.wordpress.com/2016/06/15/wellness-wednesday-i-just-cant-this-week/

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yahoo! This is awesome sharing! Hope other bloggers/readers have the pleasure of finding your blog treats! 🙂
      Awww, thank you, too sweet, hope this weekend is as wonderful as you (not possible, but we can hope). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  18. Yes, sigh, I wish it was as simple as ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’. I’m a teacher, and I still tell it to my class of 9 year olds all the time, along with a daily focus on kindness and nominating ‘kindness ambassadors’ each week who have to undertake random acts of kindness every day for the week. Unfortunately I see so many in the world who’ve lost track of that simple sentiment my parents used to tell me. But….. I do see many young faces looking at me every day who are still willing to cultivate kindness and try their best to be nice. Hopefully those seeds blossom into something long lasting and stable as they grow older.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I think there’s still a lot of goodness, kindness, etc. in the world and as long as there are people like you sowing those seeds, I think it will be alright. 🙂
      Hope you have time to drop by here again later and share some posts so others can find you. 🙂
      Hope this weekend is treating you kindly. 🙂

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    1. Hard to find each other in this giant virtual haystack, but when we do it’s fantastic! 🙂
      Yeah, that’s why he’s an ‘ex’ lol 😉
      Hope this weekend is treating you kindly. 🙂

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    1. Nikki, so awesome to see you here! I’m really enjoying your blog party and your blog as a whole! Thanks for dropping by, it’s lovely to connect, especially in a kinder way. 🙂
      Hope this weekend is treating you well so far. 🙂

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      1. Thank you!! I’m having great weekend thank you..a little too hot for my liking but I’m about to climb in bed and watch Orange is the new black so all is right in my world. 🙂 I hope your having a happy weekend too! 🙂

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      2. It’s certainly sauna-like (without the cleaned out pores), hope you’re stilling cool. 🙂
        Oh, that sounds lovely, hope you enjoy it. 🙂
        All the best. 🙂

        Like

    1. I only wish I’d gotten there sooner, Teagan, but I’m just happy I got there, best road trip in years and can’t wait for the next time. 🙂
      I got shivers when I saw it said 12th, how is that possible? Lucky number 13 soon. 🙂
      Always, always glad to be in the car, by the train station, anywhere as long as you’re taking us with you on your journeys, Teagan.
      All the best, always, dear friend.
      Mega groovy hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

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    1. It’s an awesome post, really makes you think. Really enjoyed it, glad to share it any way I can so others can find it and your blog. 🙂
      Hope this weekend is treating you kindly. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  24. Donna, I know you’ve been experimenting with themes. The truth is that I’ve liked all of them… but this one — It’s *posilutely* the best! I love it. Yes, it has some texture. I like the barely visible scotch tape at the top, and all the different “notes” on the right, and this air mail letter for comments crowns it! Love it!
    Okay, since you’re teaching me to be a bloghussy (and I seem to be on my way to the head of the class)… here’s my link. I’ve been working so hard to find a new job out west… here’s a link to my professional profile. (You never know who might be reading comments.) https://www.linkedin.com/profile/preview?vpa=pub&locale=en_US
    Huge hugs my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks for the input, Teagan, I’ve tried so many themes, but none of them seemed to quite suit, but this one seems very me. 😉
      You are becoming a promising shameless self-promoting bloghussy, dear friend, doesn’t surprise me, you’re magnificent at whatever you put your mind to. And yes, you just never know who might be reading the comments. 🙂
      Hope this week treats you kindly.
      Mega hope you find what you’re looking for hugs xox

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  26. Just found you on A Kinder Way’s blog party! I’m so glad I did I’m loving your blog! I don’t understand why people just can’t be nice to each other. Does everyone need to be an a**hole? Loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Nikki sure knows how to throw a party! So glad you found me, it’s a blogging goldmine! And if I do say so myself, my guests have been lovely as well, please feel free to drop by later and share some of your posts (ie the conversations with characters, etc.) or whatever you’d like, Lisa, people are still dropping by and I’m refreshing the refreshments table daily. 😉
      It’s beyond my understanding why people can’t be nice, it really is.
      Hope this week treats you kindly. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Kimberly, I’m so glad you found me!!! I think your blog is fun from what I’ve seen so far, now following. You’re living my dream (well, one of them) and you use one of my favourite words, ‘frugal’. 😉
      Thanks for dropping by from Janice’s Meet and Greet, she’s awesome, I love her parties and I’m glad you could hop over from there to hear, blog parties are a great way to connect with other bloggers. 🙂
      Hope this week treats you kindly and we can virtually visit often (the cows are welcome too!). 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  28. All the political argument and attacks on parents on social media have left me wanting a little more kindness. Why do we have to be so mean to each other? I don’t engage if it make me or others unhappy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I agree, I think we should spend more time being kind and less time giving any attention to the mean and all the hate. 🙂
      Thanks for dropping by, hope this week treats you kindly. 🙂

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  29. Pingback: Featured Bloggers 6/23/16: How to Network Your Blog | Dream Big, Dream Often

    1. Thank you so much and hope it works for you soon, thanks for trying r sharing, whichever happened. lol 😉
      Hope this weekend is treating you kindly, Marcia. 🙂

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  31. We need more people like you, who I see has wisdom; kindness; sense of humour and who write well on social media. I enjoy this post! Thank you!

    Vivienne X

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    1. So glad you could make it and share both your blogs, Joseph!!! 🙂
      I’ve learned a lot on your math blog, I can be, at times, math challenged, but you explain it so well.
      Your humour blog makes me smile, laugh, and/or giggle and those are my favourite tings to do in life! Thanks for sharing so others may find you too! 🙂
      Hope the week ahead treats you kindly. 🙂

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      Reply

      1. Aw, gosh, thank you. I’m flattered and glad I can do anything for you.

        And thank you. I’m feeling good for the week ahead, though I admit, I’m an optimist naturally.

        Like

  33. Josie and the pussycats – wow not watched that in years – feeling a bout of nostalgia coming on and I’m humming the theme tune already. Definitely agree with you about the niceness – is anyone truly nice anymore?. A lot of the time it seems just part of an agenda. Btw love the photo of the kitties (I have a weakness for internet cats).

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    1. I liked the cartoons and the movie, it’s nice to step back in time and enjoy the simpler things.
      I agree, there are way too many agendas out there, way way too many.
      Kittens and cats are awesome, they make me smile.
      Hope the week ahead treats you kindly. 🙂

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    1. I still find it improbable that being mean is easier than being nice, they must be doing it wrong. 😉
      There’s a lot to learn in the blog world, but there’s a lot of folks willing to help and lot of articles/posts, etc. too. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by, hope this weekend is treating you well. love and peace x

      Liked by 1 person

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  38. Here I am thinking how cool it is that I find you, and you go ahead and introduce me to a bunch of other cool folks! TY, Kudos on the #BloggersPitStop! That rocks, as do you. Your awesome and this is a great post.

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  40. I totally agree with: “Bad guys, bad boys, charismatic anti-heroes are cool on TV, in movies and books…. but in real life not so much.” In the 80s I had a crush on Darth Vader, but there’s no way I’d ever want to date him.

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  42. Pingback: Can’t You Just Pretend To Be Nice By #Donnamazing | ' Ace Social & Media News '

    1. Ian, thank you so much for this lovely reblog. Sorry it took so long to get to it, but the heat seems to have me in slow motion, well, that’s what I’m telling myself anyway. I hope things are going well with you, I know things have been wild over there in the UK…come to think of it, many places in the world, but I hope you’re doing ok. Wishing you all things wonderful, dear friend. 🙂

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    1. I know we enjoy your musings on life and experience, Suzanne and of course your reblogs, I see you’re enjoying Teagan’s amazing ‘Guitar Mancer’ serial too. 🙂
      Hope this weekend is treating you kindly. 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  44. Pingback: Three Days Three Quotes Challenge 3 – LazyHaze

    1. Thank you so much for nominating me for this challenge. Unfortunately I’m not blogging very much at this time, I could do a quote once a month, but not 3 in 3 days. lol 😉
      Here’s a quote from my latest post, one of my favs actually: Adam Lindsay Gordon got it right: “Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.”
      Hope this week treats you kindly. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for nominating me for this challenge. Unfortunately I’m not blogging very much at this time, I could do a quote once a month, but not 3 in 3 days. lol 😉
      Here’s a quote from my latest post, one of my favs actually: Adam Lindsay Gordon got it right: “Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.”
      Hope this week treats you kindly. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  46. Pingback: #FeaturedBlogger – Self-Diagnostic…Buffering – yadadarcyyada – @AceFriendsNews | ' Ace Social & Media News '

    1. Wow, Ian, what a lovely welcome back gift! I’m pleased to be back and barring any unforeseen circumstances (just waiting for yet another shoe to drop, hopefully not a whole closet full of them this time) I hope to stay. Thank you for reblogging this, much appreciated. I hope you have been well and happy, wishing for a wonderful combination of both for us, my friend. Best wishes and hugs xoxo

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  48. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing – Br Andrew's Muses
  49. Pingback: Featured Blogger: Very ME! // yadadarcyyada #DonnaAmazing | Ace Social News Desk

    1. Thank you so much, Ian, I’m behind on my comments, but my sentiment remains the same, I am very grateful so this reblog and your kindness. I hope this weekend is treating you well so far. Any ideas for a new title for my bio? 😉
      Best wishes today and every single day. xox

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  50. Pingback: Featured Blogger: You Live, You Die, In Between There’s #Chocolate // yadadarcyyada #Donnamazing | Ace Social News Desk

    1. Thank you so much for your kindness, Ian, I appreciate the reblog. Leave it to you to do good for others while having difficulties. I hope things get less blocked and much better. xox

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  51. Pingback: Featured: You’re Welcome…………#yadadarcyyada #Donnamazing | Ace Caring & Sharing NewsDesk

    1. Thank you kindly, Ian, I don’t know if you’re getting these comments, sometimes WordPress plays tricks (no treats) and says No!
      Hope this finds you safe and sound. Thank you for the lovely reblog! How delightful!
      Stay safe. Stay connected. 🙂
      Big non-contagious hugs xoxo

      Like

      Reply

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