Posted in Chocolate, Environment, Food, Parenting, Political, Uncategorized, Weight

If You’re Not In It, You’re Out Of It

1funny226Common sense, kindness, compassion, hope, love, a sense of humour, and caring, combined with the dreaded ‘m’ word, you know, moderation might be the answers to all this confusion. Those things should never change.

Sometimes it astounds me, but we still believe.

It doesn’t matter whether they tell us it’s new and improved, a new formula, a new design, it’s soooo much better…and we believe.

Commercials, polls, experts, ads, doesn’t matter how wrong they are or how much they’re lying…maybe we just want to believe.

Too many ‘studies’ have been commissioned by those who will profit from the findings.

  • Dairy was best for you, no, dairy is evil.

  • Eggs are worse than terrorism.

  • Chocolate makes you fat; dark chocolate is good for you, no it isn’t, yes it is…yes…it…is!!!

  • Cancer is caused by everything, so here, take these seeds, drink this, no, don’t, yes…

  • Olive oil is a god.

  • Gluten once strode the Earth like a mighty colossus. It had it’s own section in the grocery store, was an ingredient in everything we ate, had ads and billboards, was splashed on race cars, yet now, gluten is to be feared and shunned – proclaimed the author of our looming demise.1funny219

  • You’re too fat or too thin; to some, you’re both.

  • Your hair is the wrong shade and give it a minute, yes, the style has changed again – get thee to a hairstylist!

  • Headphones should always be small and discreet, now they should cover a large surface of your head.

  • Cellphones had to be large; then small, now smaller, now smaller, now bigger, bigger, now so huge they barely fit in your hand. And don’t forget, you always need new accessories.1funny238

    You need the latest version, the latest edition, the latest thing or who knows what will happen? Remember, if you’re not in it, you’re out of it. I hate to contradict The Ramones, but…1funny218

  • Experts tell us how to parent, this changes drastically depending on who you’re listening to, in what year. Most importantly, everyone you talk to is right.
    Breast is best except when it isn’t, then formula a corporation says is best, hope it isn’t contaminated, and of course, it can’t be dairy (refer to the above, dairy is now evil).
    Where do babies sleep on these days, their back, side, stomach, sitting up, in a special floating hammock?
    When should they get solid foods, start talking, walking, and don’t forget to turn them all into baby Einsteins.1funny221

  • Dieting advice, ads, etc. is even more complicated than parenting – eat everything, then nothing, eat this, don’t eat that, balance on one foot, drinking water, singing Queen’s We Are The Champions, the pounds will just melt off.

  • I can’t even watch a detergent commercial without thinking, “Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash” ~Jerry Seinfeld. That’s about how seriously I take advertising.

  •  Polls all skew their questions to get the answers they want and let’s be honest, people lie. Why even bother?

    I understand that with time, research, testing, etc. we know more and sometimes even know better, but please we need check our sources. Then again, who can keep up and do we really want to?

1funny233

Advertisements