Unseasonably warm, it seemed a beautiful day to go for a long walk. Little did I know chaos had broken out at The North Pole. As I wandered off to do errands and go to the library, behind the scenes, disgruntled elves had declared war on Christmas! Tired of deplorable working conditions, the Elves went on strike.
Santa seemed bemused, telling the media, “I’ve spent more money on elves, especially Veteran elves than any other Santa in the history of Santas.”
The elves shot back with a list of demands.
“We’re tired of being pushed around!” Chief SpokesElf Snowball exclaimed. “We don’t have glamorous jobs like fighting to save Middle-earth, making cookies in trees, being a warrior in Hyrule, or saving Harry Potter, we just make toys!”
Other elves murmured their agreement.
“We love making toys, but day in and day out, it’s torture!” Snowball climbed up on a festive stool to point at the growing crowd of elves. “No one talks about the harassment we endure when we go into town, we can’t even walk down the street without hearing, Hey Sugarplum, or Twinkletoes, Peppermint Buns, Angel Ears, Sprinklepants.” Snowball sat down heavily on the stool, head in hands, as if unable to carry on.
Another elf patted Snowball on the back and continued, “We want to work, but we have to sing the whole time and some elves, I won’t mention any names, cough cough, Buddy, sing loud for all to hear, off key. And why does Santa’s Workshop have to be at The North Pole, why not Aruba or Belize?” Holly sighed and raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. “We have a mandatory diet of cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, candy corn, do you know what all these gumdrops are doing to my diet?”
Cries of Here, Here! and One Two Three Four Eating Cookies is a Bore! rang through the workshop.
“We have to wear these outfits all the time,” Holly sighed, pointing down at her tacky elf outfit. “And now they’re loaning us out to sit on shelves, what’s with that?”
But while the elves were rallying, the reindeer escaped and went flying around the world, stuffing themselves on fast food and samples at Costco; getting liquored up before knocking down unsuspecting pedestrians. This is where I come in, one minute I was walking, the next I was on the ground, in the mud. The reindeer didn’t even stop, it kept talking on it’s cellphone, at least, I think it was a reindeer.
With only 19 sleeps before the Big Night, let’s hope Santa and the Elves can work this out.
It looks like Santa and elves might have to go for arbitration or a good shrink. My choice would be to avoid the shrink. Many of them are as dysfunctional as a two bob watch. Surely elves are hard working, I mean slipping down chimneys at the time some idiot is starting a fire has its disadvantage.
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I really hope they can work things out, for everyone. 🙂
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I like how you can just buy a skirt and turn your shelf elf into a girl. Presumptuous, right? There ought to be something in the Geneva Conventions about forced cross-dressing.
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It does seem wrong…very wrong. There must be an Elf Rights group out there… 😉
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Hermione had that house elf group in Harry Potter. Maybe there’s an affiliate? Different species, but elves are elves… Right?
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I think all elves stand together, united… 😉
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Delightful!
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Thank you kindly. 🙂
Hope you have a lovely weekend! 🙂
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Santa should quickly hire a smart HR honcho who would break up such efforts at unionization on part of the elves; or else, people all over the planet would suffer.
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I have more faith in Santa than that, hopefully he will work his Christmas magic and he fair at the same time. 🙂
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Good one! 😀
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
This is the problem with all the ‘Elf and Safety’ rules – Elves used to joyfully go about their work until the coagulation of nether regions was formed and brought in all sorts of rules and regulations.. look at the trouble it is causing for Santa this year….tut tut.
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I really hope they can work things out. Thanks so much for the reblog, Sally 🙂
Hope this day treats you kindly. 🙂
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You too…. thanks
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🙂
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What a fine time to be disgruntled, or have to deal with it. I sure hope this doesn’t mess up Christmas this year.
Sorry about the reindeer, if that’s what it was, for knocking you down. Manners are suffering even in the North Pole. Tsk. Tsk.
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Thanks, I’m bruised by unbroken. 🙂
Hopefully they can resolve their outstanding grievances before Christmas Eve. 🙂
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😀 😀 😀
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🙂
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Thank you so much for sharing this Ian and I hope you can drop back and share some of your links for others to find you. Thanks again and hope this week is treating you well so far. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing this, so kind of you to spread some Christmas fun. 🙂
Hope this week is treating you well so far. 🙂
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Very clever and cute. Great fun!!
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Thank you kindly. I hope you can drop by again and leave some links to your posts. 🙂
Hope this day is treating you well. 🙂
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Thank you, kindly.
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🙂
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Wow, thank you so much for including so many of my links!!! Very kind of you and a great way to spread the Christmas joy! And I’m in terrific company! Happy Holidays and all the best in 2017! 🙂
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I’m very visual, and imagined this whole thing unfold! Thank you for that! 🙂 #BloggersPitStop ❤
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I’m so glad the picture I was trying to write was that clear, Lisa, thank you for saying so, very kind of you. Love #BloggersPitStop
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Seriously Santa needs to face the International Court of Elf justuce for Elf Slavery :p Elves deserve new chores, variety of workspaces and even extra days off esp. during the Christmas season right! …
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Elf Rights Now!!! lol, thanks for dropping by Julie, hope this day is being good o you. Merry Christmas and all the best in 2017! 🙂
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Donna, the Blogger’s Pit Stop is going to feature this post on Friday. Congratulations.
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That’s wonderful, Kathleen, thank you kindly. I can’t wait. I hope this week is treating you kindly so far, all the best in this new year. 🙂
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Thank you kindly for featuring my post, so lovely to be at #BloggersPitStop any time, even more so this weekend. I think it should be a must stop for everyone every weekend. 🙂
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I´ve always thought that reindeers were the real heroes…. I mean, at least keeping in mind the popular Christmas myth. Santa Claus was more a Coca Cola product 😀 Great post dear Donna. Hugs 😀
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The reindeers and the elves certainly do seem to do the hard work while Santa gets the kudos. 😉
Big happy hugs, dear Aquileana, hope this weekend is treating you well. 🙂
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Reblogged this on yadadarcyyada and commented:
I kinda think they’re just be Elfish…
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Big hugs and thank you, thank you, thank you. xoxox
Stay safe. 🙂
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