Posted in Christmas, Food, Holidays, Movies, Uncategorized

We are Santa’s elves

Posted on by D. Parker

1elves11Unseasonably warm, it seemed a beautiful day to go for a long walk. Little did I know chaos had broken out at The North Pole. As I wandered off to do errands and go to the library, behind the scenes, disgruntled elves had declared war on Christmas! Tired of deplorable working conditions, the Elves went on strike.

Santa seemed bemused, telling the media, “I’ve spent more money on elves, especially Veteran elves than any other Santa in the history of Santas.”

The elves shot back with a list of demands.

“We’re tired of being pushed around!” Chief SpokesElf Snowball exclaimed. “We don’t have glamorous jobs like fighting to save Middle-earth, making cookies in trees, being a warrior in Hyrule, or saving Harry Potter, we just make toys!”

Other elves murmured their agreement.

“We love making toys, but day in and day out, it’s torture!” Snowball climbed up on a festive stool to point at the growing crowd of elves. “No one talks about the harassment we endure when we go into town, we can’t even walk down the street without hearing, Hey Sugarplum, or Twinkletoes, Peppermint Buns, Angel Ears, Sprinklepants.” Snowball sat down heavily on the stool, head in hands, as if unable to carry on.

Another elf patted Snowball on the back and continued, “We want to work, but we have to sing the whole time and some elves, I won’t mention any names, cough cough, Buddy, sing loud for all to hear, off key. And why does Santa’s Workshop have to be at The North Pole, why not Aruba or Belize?” Holly sighed and raised her hands in a gesture of defeat. “We have a mandatory diet of cookies, candy canes, gingerbread, candy corn, do you know what all these gumdrops are doing to my diet?”

Cries of Here, Here! and One Two Three Four Eating Cookies is a Bore! rang through the workshop.

“We have to wear these outfits all the time,” Holly sighed, pointing down at her tacky elf outfit. “And now they’re loaning us out to sit on shelves, what’s with that?”1elves8

But while the elves were rallying, the reindeer escaped and went flying around the world, stuffing themselves on fast food and samples at Costco; getting liquored up before knocking down unsuspecting pedestrians. This is where I come in, one minute I was walking, the next I was on the ground, in the mud. The reindeer didn’t even stop, it kept talking on it’s cellphone, at least, I think it was a reindeer.

With only 19 sleeps before the Big Night, let’s hope Santa and the Elves can work this out.

Author:

Very me

43 thoughts on “We are Santa’s elves”

  1. It looks like Santa and elves might have to go for arbitration or a good shrink. My choice would be to avoid the shrink. Many of them are as dysfunctional as a two bob watch. Surely elves are hard working, I mean slipping down chimneys at the time some idiot is starting a fire has its disadvantage.

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  2. I like how you can just buy a skirt and turn your shelf elf into a girl. Presumptuous, right? There ought to be something in the Geneva Conventions about forced cross-dressing.

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      1. Hermione had that house elf group in Harry Potter. Maybe there’s an affiliate? Different species, but elves are elves… Right?

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  6. What a fine time to be disgruntled, or have to deal with it. I sure hope this doesn’t mess up Christmas this year.
    Sorry about the reindeer, if that’s what it was, for knocking you down. Manners are suffering even in the North Pole. Tsk. Tsk.

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  7. Pingback: Dear Santa, I Can Explain…12 Links of Christmas Blog Party – @yadadarcyyada | ' Ace Social & Media News '

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this Ian and I hope you can drop back and share some of your links for others to find you. Thanks again and hope this week is treating you well so far. 🙂

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  8. Pingback: A Funny Post Of Santa’s Elves Complaining About Their Job. – My Daily Musing
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    1. Wow, thank you so much for including so many of my links!!! Very kind of you and a great way to spread the Christmas joy! And I’m in terrific company! Happy Holidays and all the best in 2017! 🙂

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  14. Pingback: Blogger's Pit Stop #55 - The Blogger's Lifestyle

    1. Thank you kindly for featuring my post, so lovely to be at #BloggersPitStop any time, even more so this weekend. I think it should be a must stop for everyone every weekend. 🙂

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  15. I´ve always thought that reindeers were the real heroes…. I mean, at least keeping in mind the popular Christmas myth. Santa Claus was more a Coca Cola product 😀 Great post dear Donna. Hugs 😀

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  17. Pingback: We are Santa’s eleves by #Donnamazing @yadadarcyyada | Ace Caring & Sharing NewsDesk

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